Talk is cheap. Overspending isn?t. Seizing the moment is not using either good sense or good cents. Heavy debt and its burden of interest is potential financial ruin. Don?t live for today. Instead plan for tomorrow. Believe me I know. Hubby and I have both been there, done that. Now we know better. We want our kids to learn by our mistakes not copy them.
Early on, I gave each of our kids responsibilities. I allowed them to get jobs so they would have their own money, learn how to save, learn when to spend. They were exposed to shopping, realities like unit pricing, sales, couponing, bulk buying. As they grew into adulthood and independence, each was given choices appropriate to the situation. Their academic successes and/or jobs brought rewards not either us or Santa Claus.
No free rides for any of them, hubby and I as parents supplied the basic necessities of food, shelter, and clothes we could afford. If they wanted more, they had to cover luxuries. I did not look to automobiles as an entitlement. Maybe it is the way my parents who survived the Great Depression raised me. Maybe it is that I as a war baby was raised in a time of rationing. When any of them went to hubby to appeal my judgment, he returned the matter back to me and visa versa. Good thing we decided early on that allowing children to divide and conquer is not good.
Accordingly the kids learned to figure out which one parent to ask because to go behind one parent?s back once any decision was made was instant grounding. They also learned that rules were made to be followed not broken. Meanwhile, they got working papers and part-time jobs that fit them and where they lived (no car and no easy public transportation). One proviso though which they hated ? half their earnings were to go immediately into an AND not AND/OR savings account that they could not access for frivolous things without my signature. It was for their future not the present. I took neither room nor board; they were still children. The rest I admit that many times I had to bite my tongue?.
My daughter used travelers checks when she went on a school trip to England as well as for her senior class trip to Orlando. When first born daughter left for college during the week, no checking account was opened her, no debit card just her weekly allowance, no cell phone either just the land line in her dorm, no vehicle on campus?those were the best years of her life. She didn?t agree.
My eldest son did high school on a five year plan, stayed home and used cash. At eighteen, he considered himself an adult. He opted to work instead of continuing his education upon graduation. I respected his point of view, loved him, but let him pay his way sans any short fall loans or bailouts. I constantly heard, ?You are too strict.? He now runs his own business.
My oldest two complained I was getting soft when each of their little brothers got his own cell phone. Their two little brothers? rites of passage was similar except times had changed. I admit I hoped I was somewhat wiser after raising the first two so at times I tried to do things differently. I did not punish as much when they pushed the envelope. I rather think they would have preferred it to doing without. Example: Little brothers initially abused phone minutes running up the bill. Solution: I took the cells and locked them up UNTIL each boy paid the unapproved charges back to me.
I encouraged their dating as high school teens on non-school nights; however, they were expected to go cheap or dutch treat. Hubby willingly transported since that way we knew who our kids were with and where they were ideally. Exceptions, of course, were made for their own prom tickets, flowers, gowns and tuxes, and transportation. They knew when we were paid?me twice monthly and hubby weekly. Since I usually shopped bi-monthly, they told me what they needed and I stress the word needed as it had to be justified. They were shown bills. They watched me write checks. They knew I paid either by cash or as a 30-day interest free credit card purchase. I never kept more than petty cash around between ? too tempting.
I wanted all my children to learn that safe spending is spending only what one has with a reserve set aside ?in case? bad times come. Illness, loss of work, even the economy can devastate the best laid plans of mice and men. I sadly advised them that they needed to buy something on credit to establish credit. I told them that credit was built on early or timely payments; late ones brought exorbitant late fees. I warned them about credit limits; more exorbitant fees if the consumer went over his account limit.
I reminded them about the pitfalls of credit and how using it for a sale may not be a bargain once an average 20% is factored in. I want them to realize that credit like casinos works to the advantage of the house NOT the patron. Lending institutions allow borrowing because of profitable paybacks received. I still encourage my kids to learn about the truth in lending laws as well as how and why the government changed many credit laws and payment requirements.
I am glad that some schools courses expose students to financial responsibility and financial planning. As a parent, I found myself preaching to the choir. In today?s American society, peers have a major influence on what our young do and do not do. It is not what our own kids do during the time they are with us, what counts is what they do when they move out and on.
I doubt if I would ever sign for a credit card for a minor; nevertheless, I would encourage a debit card where the holder can?t spend more than the balance on the card, meaning absolutely no overdraft option ? reality check that is money not there AKA debt. That debit card would link only to friendly ATM machines (dream on) without nominal (relative to whom?) transaction fees.
Food for thought: ?Debit cards work when you have its owner?s correct bank information. ?But if you don?t have it all, American Express Gift Cards are great?for presents and more. ?The best thing is that they don?t require lots of shipping and handling charges. ?They fit right into a greeting card envelope. ?What a way to say hello!
I just visited financialtools.americanexpress.com and hope you do as well. Its Practice Safe Spend Tips are great if you just follow through. Send the right message for your kids.
I wrote this review while participating in a campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of American Express and received a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.
Source: http://hereandthere.us/index.php/2011/american-express-safe-spending/
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